Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know
life is good and you can’t help but smile. … Happiness is a sense of
well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky,
they feel happiness.
In the 21st century, I would say it is letting go
of what you think your life is supposed to look like.
By definition, happiness sounds simple and achievable, why
then is happiness so elusive and a quest that consumes us? Is there a happily
ever after?
“The three grand essentials of happiness are: Something
to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.”
There is an often overlooked rule in history; far more is lost and forgotten than is preserved and remembered. The rule relates to progress. As a species we are on the information highway and know more, but are we wiser?
When I think of wisdom, I am always reminded of this quote from Brian O Driscoll “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.”
Our attitude, spirit and tenacity can affect the outcome of any challenge that comes our way. To be proactive, you must also be self-aware to understand who you are and your purpose. Long term thinking and planning allows us to reap the rewards in the future.
A friend of mine Rachel, sent this to me just over ten years
ago. I saved it because it is an inspiring message delivered well and makes
good sense.
George Bernard Shaw said, “People are always blaming their
circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people
who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the circumstances
they want, and if they can’t find them, they make them.”
Well, it’s pretty apparent, isn’t it? And every person who
discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it
out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn’t know
where he’s going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion,
anxiety and worry – his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and
worry. And if he thinks about nothing …. he becomes nothing.
How does it work? Why do we become what we think about?
Well, I’ll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell
you about a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it’s good, fertile land.
The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he
chooses. The land doesn’t care. It’s up to the farmer to make the decision.
We are comparing the human mind with the land because the
mind, like the land, doesn’t care what you plant in it. It will return what you
plant, but it doesn’t care what you plant.
Now, let’s say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand –
one is seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two
little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds – one corn, and the other
nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land – and what
will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it’s written in the Bible, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.”
Remember the land doesn’t care. It will return poison in
just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants – one corn,
one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and
mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn’t care what we
plant ….success….or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal… or confusion,
misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant it must return to
us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored
continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will
return anything we want to plant.
Years ago when my kids were still in primary school (so
possibly 15 years ago) I printed these commandments and we used to read it
aloud together. I was rummaging through stuff in my study and came across the
printed version. They are still so relevant.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the
people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything
happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If
it changes your life, let it.
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is
fighting some kind of battle.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn’t oversleep.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your
thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
One thing you can give and still keep … is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won’t work unless ‘you’ do.
Your mind is like a parachute … it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is
never too late to become what you might have been.
I believe Dr Seuss was a literary genius and while his prose
about Green Eggs and Ham may have fired our childhood imaginations, there is
great wisdom and life lessons to be learned.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one
alive who is Youer than You.”
You are you – so special and unique. Why bother trying to be
someone else when you can be the best version of yourself. Celebrate your uniqueness
and stand proud. Here are the lessons I learned along my journey and I hope
they help you become confident and the best versions of yourself.
EDUCATION
This does not necessarily mean getting a degree or diploma –
it means a quest for learning and improving/ developing yourself every day for
the rest of your lives. It is a thirst for knowledge and whatever kind of
learner you are, make sure you learn something new every day.
GOALS
I still believe in the relevance of SMART goals as it gives
you direction and purpose not only at work but also in your personal life.
Think about what you want to achieve in life and work on specific, measurable,
achievable, realistic and time bound goals (SMART). They could be for the next
six months, or in the next five years.
INVEST IN YOURSELF
Self-care can never be underestimated. Look after your
physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. Eat well and regularly to
nourish your body. Exercise regularly. Take time out to smell the roses. This
is not selfish and I am often reminded of the flight attendant instructions of putting
your oxygen mask on first, before helping others. … Because if you run out of
oxygen, you can’t help anyone else with their oxygen mask!!
DON’T BE A PEOPLE PLEASER
Learn to prioritize and say “No”. Once you try pleasing
people there is no end in sight. This is very good advice given by my mum when
I got married. Initially it might be hard but at least you are clear on your
boundaries and people will not take liberties (aka you won’t get hurt or upset)
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Keep doing what you love. Stay curious and interested
blocking out all the social media noise. This is your life and no one else is
better at living it than you. A famous Henry Ford quote, “Whether you think you
can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,” Be the fairy tale little engine
that could. Yad Bhavam Tad Bhavati is
a line from the Ancient Vedas which means your inner thoughts make your outer
appearance. You are what you believe and you become what you believe
THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH
There are no shortcuts in life. Be very wary and guarded if
something seems too good to be true or does not seem reasonable. All that
glitters is not gold after all.
THINK ABUNDANCE NOT SCARCITY
This is an attitude that allows you to see more, do more and
be more. Make a conscious effort to recognize the unlimited possibilities
surrounding you. You are restricted by the limitations/ restrictions set by
your own mind. So start breaking free.
SAVE BEFORE SPENDING
It is okay to have delayed gratification. Things bought on
credit card end up being more expensive if you can’t pay the credit card within
the month. Saving money is good for you and puts you in financial control.
Saving gives you a sense of achievement plus everyone needs to save for a rainy
day. You are your own unique self and you do not have to keep up with the
Joneses.
SETBACKS/FAILURES/MISTAKES
It is human to make mistakes. Own your mistakes, take
responsibility and try your best to make it right. Every encounter is an
experience we need to move us forward. Setbacks and failures hep make your
resolve stronger and you do become more resilient.
HUMILITY IS UNDERRATED
Humility is considered a state of being, highlighted by your
behaviour and approach to things. Humility is not about hiding away or about
becoming a ‘wallflower’, but it is about the realization your abilities and
actions are not better or less. Humility doesn’t require the ranking of things,
but it calls for the understanding of the true value or worth of things. Staying
humble will keep you grounded.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of
yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis
THIS TOO WILL PASS
Time and tide wait for no one and time is a great healer. We
are all transient in this world and luckily the hard or difficult time you are
going through is temporary and will pass soon. A new dawn brings with it the
promise of a new day, new experiences and opportunities. Believe in yourself
and you shall overcome.
WHO IS IN YOUR INNER CIRCLE?
Do you have a sibling or parents or a partner or close
friends who love you unconditionally? They are loyal and care for your
wellbeing and you know you will not be judged. These people in a way are your
care mentors and as we navigate through life we need to nurture our inner
circle.
DREAM BIG
For as long as I can remember I have always dreamed big –
wild fantasies and visions of achieving big great things in life. I know I am
not the only dreamer. Dreaming involves holding tight to a vision of a better
life, one of success and abundance. While getting there might be difficult,
having to deal with setbacks and failures along the way, it’s surely well worth
it. Anyone who’s achieved a big goal knows just how true that statement is. It
all starts with a dream which is a thought, which becomes your vision and then
your reality.
GRATITUDE
The dictionary defines gratitude as the quality of being
thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. John F
Kennedy so aptly said “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget
that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
SHARING
In the spirit of making the world a better place, you have to share to show you care. Share within your community, share with a neighbour, family, friends. Be it knowledge, experience, time or money – emulate the likes of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett but do share at your level. Give what you can afford – share with the Universe in an unselfish and not wanting anything in return way and the Universe gives you more.
I wanted to share this quote from Anne Lamott with everyone as it is so apt for anyone who finds excuses for inaction:
“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in those warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.”
Don’t be a bystander – be bold and confident and do your thing .. whatever it maybe.
